Blissfully Unaware of the Chaos the Surrounds Me

Bitchin' and Cryin' . . .

and vomiting. 

Well to be clear, Halle was vomiting and crying (for her Mama), so we headed home first thing this morning. Of course. I wouldn't want to be anywhere but with my little while she was so sick. And I was teary and impatient and anxious to get home to her. Kudos to my in-laws, because they were up most of the night with her. Kudos to Dylan who woke up to his sister throwing up all over his bed. 

But if I can be horrifically selfish for one moment? 

All I freakin' wanted was a weekend away. One flippin' weekend.

The 1/2 of the weekend that we did get? Was at a funeral and memorial reception.

And yes, I know that I sound like the biggest bitch in the Western world right now, but seriously? One weekend. Two days. One night.

To top it off? John and I got in an argument on the way home. Why in the heck would we choose to talk about finances on our way home from our interupted weekend away? How dumb are we? (Dumb, apparently.) 

So now I'm pissy. And still a little teary. And I feel cheated. Because now I am home, decontaminating every surface in our home from the vomit-fest that seemingly occurred on every darn surface, and I have house guests. And no food in the fridge. It sucks. And I'm pissy. And sound so spoiled and ridiculous. But I wanted to have a lazy day. And not worry about dinner plans for the family/in-laws. 

Sigh. Rant over. I am over it. I am. Or I will be soon.

Endings . . .

What a way to begin, right?

But it seems as if we’re in a season of endings. Some of those finales are very positive. The end of the school year . . . amen. Then the other endings . . . the loss of Andy . . . the memorial service for John’s uncle . . . those endings are emotional and difficult.

I told Renee the other day that she should take comfort in how many difficult conversations have been held between husbands and wives over the last few weeks. John and I, included. Talks about life insurance, funeral plans, finances, music . . . you name it, we’ve talked about it!

As a small little aside? Get your pictures taken. Individually. Make sure that every few years there is one high-resolution photo of you. Just you. This is after another afternoon of cropping people out of poor-resolution photos and ignoring low-quality warnings from the printer. Sigh. But we have the photos of John’s uncle in-hand. And they will do. Just barely.

John and I are currently headed down to Sacramento for his Uncle’s memorial. The kids are home with my in-laws. After the service/reception back at his Aunt’s home? My husband and I have 24+ hours alone. Alone! It’s a ridiculous case of house-swapping . . . John’s dad and stepmom headed up to the Tahoe cabin. John’s mom and stepdad came to our house. Instead of a hotel? John and I are staying at his dad’s house! The location can’t be beat . . . beautiful pool . . . great views . . . and the price was right, for sure!

We’re going to head to Anthropologie to return my lumpy, bumpy, oddly-fitting dress. We have an appointment at the Apple store, where I am praying they will simply replace my iPad. My poor sad iPad that I dropped on the tile floor. Ouch! We are maybe going to dinner at Tahoe Joe’s, where I have never eaten, but my husband says has some yummy eats. We are probably going to rent a movie. We are going to relax. Tomorrow, we are going to get up whenever we feel like it. Maybe we’ll head out to brunch. IKEA? Time by the pool? A bookstore? Or maybe a couple of open houses? Oh . . .the opportunities are endless! 

(Although a little sad and telling of our age, isn't it? We get 24 hours alone and there is no partying, gambling, concerts, comedy shows, etc . . . nope, we're headed up to stay at Sun City and thrilled as could be about it!)

And with that, we begin with an ending, then get a moment (or 24 hours!) of new beginnings. 

Random Sunday . . .

I worked at church.

On our way to church? Halle fell down and got got some major road rash. I feel guilty because I had just told her to hurry up. Hello, jerk-Mom!

After we went to Pasquini's last night, I got to spend some time my friend Renee and about 20 of her best friends. OMG. Talk about exactly what that amazing girl needed!

John and I got to sneak out and see "What to Expect When You Are Expecting", while Dylan and a friend saw "Battleship".

I felt a little lame that we went to the movies instead of watching the solar eclipse. But I have been dying to just go to the movies with my husband for so long!

There was some yummy eye-candy in that movie. Who knew? Plus, it was actually really cute. And I may have even cried just a tiny bit!

I colored with Halle for so long this weekend that I feel as if I have carpal-tunnel syndrome. Ouch.

See . . . I told you it was random!

Happy Day . . .

I'm sitting in the backyard, with my feet up on the ottoman. There's a light breeze blowing. The sun is out. John is napping. Halle is napping (although she wasn't tired . . . not one it!) Dylan is playing on the xBox.

My car is freshly washed . . . a late Mother's Day gift from my amazing firstborn. I'm drinking a Fresca, out of a mason jar, with frozen fruit for ice. My flowers are blooming. My groundcover is growing. There is evidence of last night's fun with the chalked hopscotch fading on the patio. The side yard is cleaned up, as done by my husband who possibly was still drunk when he got up this morning. He rocked it. (Both the drunkenness and the recovery!) More on the drunkenness later . . . I'm collecting iPhone pics and video clips as they come in. 

Tonight we are driving down to Live Oak to my very favorite eatery, Pasquini's.  (Yes, really. If you've passed them a hundred times on 99 and ever wondered if it was decent? I'm here to tell you that they are beyond decent!) We are meeting up with John's Dad to celebrate his birthday. (Happy birthday, Poppi!)

For the first weekend in months, John doesn't have any homework or school projects or tests. That feels beyond amazing to me! I know it feels even better to him!

I am just soaking in it. Reveling in it, really. Love me some happy, easy Saturday.

Re-cap(ish) . . .

Lots going on around here. Some good. Some bad. Some down-right sucky. But I can't talk about the down-right sucky on here. Seriously. So we're moving on . . . 

John just got back from his drill weekend. He drove down from Sacramento on Thursday night. He flew on Friday morning. He drove back to Sacramento on Friday afternoon. His uncle passed away a couple of hours after he got there. (So glad he was able to be there.) RIP, Uncle Gary. Then John turned around and drove back to the base late that night. I think he got in at 1:30 in the morning. And now he's home. Finally. It's been one hell of a week for him. He has his last exam of the semester (as a student) on Tuesday and then I think (I hope), that it will get easier for him. At least for now. Hopefully.

Dylan is still sick. If you're counting? It's now been a week. It's not strep throat. It's probably still viral. But I have a Z-pack that I am so ready to start him on. His sinuses are beyond inflamed. His fevers have finally subsided, but he still feels like crap. He looks like someone beat him up every day when he gets up. Poor guy. But all that being said, he needs to get better. ASAP. He needs to get back to school. Crossing my fingers for possibly Tuesday?

Halle is bit of a mess too. She's having some serious allergy symptoms. And some serious clinginess. She's decided that she's scared to be in her room alone. It's good times, peeps. Really, really good times! As we speak, her mattress is laying on our bedroom floor. This is not a good omen.

And yes, please remember that I'm not even talking about the down-right sucky ugliness. What a relief, huh?

But, and here's the big but (aside from my posterior); allergies and viruses and crazy schedules aside? And yes, even the unmentionable down-right sucky ugliness aside? We're all ok. Dylan has a nasty bug, not cancer. Halle has allergies, not cancer. John's schedule is nuts, but he doesn't have cancer. I'm possibly going nuts, but I don't have cancer. Do you sense a theme here?

On Wednesday, I will be meeting with a friend, her husband and their families. To help plan her husband's memorial service. He is dying from, you guessed it, fucking cancer. (Pardon my french, but if anything is ever deserving of the f-word, it's cancer.) They have two young boys. He was diagnosed a year ago. Up until this last week, they fought the disease with ever possible combination of chemo and regimes possible. They've been told that he doesn't have long.

When I dropped dinner off at their house last week, I came home and sat in my driveway and cried for ten minutes. Sobbed, actually. I've watched their oldest son get quieter over the last year. I've watched their youngest son lose some of his over-the-top exuberance. I've watched their mom, my friend, spiral through the entire range of emotions as she fights for her family. So, I am bringing what I can. Which is so very little. But, when push comes to shove? I'm a planner. A wedding-party-memorial service planner. I am very versatile, indeed! But there is nothing that means more to me than planning a memorial service with/for a friend or family member. I feel as if I'm using my God-given talents in a way that is meaningful. And useful. Even when it is so very hard.

Other than all that delightfulness? Today I cleaned the house, washed sheets, did various other loads of laundry, mowed both lawns, picked up Barbies, grocery shopped, administered medications, read the paper, bought a dress online from Anthropologie and worked on some schedule stuff for this upcoming week. Yesterday I talked to my sister in Sweden, showered (!!), downloaded two seasons of Horseland for Halle, looked on VRBO for a Kauai house to rent over Christmas (ha!), laid on the hammock, trimmed some shrubs, infused some vodka, went out to Sol for Cinco de Mayo (and to hear a friend's band play) made s'mores and had an impromptu dance party (complete with limbo! with the kiddos upon my return. We also did some "Ding Dong" doorbell ditching. A box of Hostess Ding Dongs, with a nice note, left on a doorstep before we (Dylan) hit the doorbell and ran. Hilarious fun.

(And Halle played "Wendy" of Peter Pan fame, which was really just being tied up to the pergola with a jump rope. Who knows about that one!)

What I didn't do this weekend? Was make the D.C./New York photobook like I had planned. Oops. Must. Prioritize. Soon. I also didn't do my Friday Phone Dump. Again. Nor did I wash my car. Didn't make it to church. I also didn't find a place for us to stay in San Francisco next month. Or more specifically, someplace to stay for less than $350 a night. But it's all about balance, baby. 

Dance parties amidst the cancer. Desire for tropical escape amidst the b.s. Cuddles with my girl, even as she climbs into our bed from her bed, two feet away. A quick kiss for my hubby before he starts prepping for his exam. A good talk with Dylan about random things between his coughing and grasping his throat. Moments of clarity among the confusion.

Balance and wholeness. 

Sitting Outside . . .

and loving it. Yesterday and today have been lovely weather. I spent time in the yard planting a few things and have been sneaking out at every chance I get to just sit and enjoy it.

I am really, really beginning to enjoy our yard. No, it's still not done. And I would really like Halle's play area to get finished while she's still little enough to enjoy it! I'm also dreaming about some type of canvas structure. (John thinks I'm nutters!) But we've been coming out and laying in the hammock a few times a week after the kids are in bed and it's pretty darn dreamy. I keep thinking that if we had a comfy futon or better yet, my pallet-constructed u-shaped sofa/convertible bed, under a platform tent, we'd sleep out here several times a week! Plus the kids would love it. I'm sure there's got to be a way to get John on-board with the idea!

We had a dinner event at a friend's last night that was utterly delightful. It was an Italian dinner that we had bought at a school auction a couple of year's ago. Sadly, one of the couples that bought it with us wasn't able to make it. So with an hour to go, we found a neighbor couple who was able to join us. The food was beyond compare . . . both in quality and quantity. We had a bacon-wrapped scallop that was to die for. Then a pesto lasagna and a nutty risotto that almost had me licking my plate! I took some sangria over, but I tried to decrease it's potency a bit. It wasn't nearly as good as last weekend's batch. Back to the potent version, I guess! 

I also edited a senior portrait session. I ended up with 73 edited images. That's kind of ridiculous. Especially when I'm just trading for babysitting! But I am hoping that Mindy and her parents will be happy with what I gave them. The girl is gorgeous and fun and a true delight. Hoping that her pictures represent how amazing she is.

As for my hubby, he is headed down to Sacramento (again) tonight. His Uncle is not doing well at all. John wants to give his Aunt a good night's sleep and be able to have one last coherent conversation with his Uncle. To be able to say all that needs to be said. My heart is breaking for him right now. His Uncle has been a huge influence in his life. A father-figure when he needed it most. John is grieving, even now. I'm so sad for him and it's so difficult to watch him walk through this. I can't take away his hurt and it's hurts me to watch him mourn and struggle and grieve. He wants to save his Uncle - who is refusing treatment and choosing to go now versus fight for a while longer. It's very hard to watch. 

So all that said? The weekend is soon to be over. I'm not prepared (mentally) for the week. The stresses of our lives are pressing in. And so I sit. Ignoring the laundry. Ignoring the chores. And I look at the flowers that are blooming in our yard. I color with Halle. I pet the dog.

And I drink a mason jar full of watered-down sangria.

Cheers to the coming week. Please be kind(er) to us.

Good Friday . . .

Yesterday was exactly what I expected it to be. An unpleasant morning. The evening, however, was everything I needed it to be. A good time with two of my closest friends. With wine. And possibly, a shot of Patron. A yummy salad. Cuddled up on the back porch, under the white lights. The evening definitely overcame the morning. It was made better by the fact that I was actually still awake when my hubby came home from work. Time with my besties and then time with my husband? All in the same day? Whoohoooo!

Anyway, I am off work today. And I made the decision to close our office on Monday. My assistant and I both needed that day with our families. So be it. A four-day weekend it is!

As for today, it is Good Friday. 

 

The Skit Guys share it much better than I could ever hope to. (This video, by the way, is very appropriate for a tween. It's a very teachable and touching thing to share with your older children, if they are at that point.)

And yes, I have a Good Friday post that mentions tequila. This might be a personal best (low) for me. Our Shannon? I'll post pics for you tomorrow. Love ya, though!

(Saturday) Photo Dump . . .

The last two days have been filled with visits to the hospital, laundry, playdates, cookies and friends. What a mix, huh?

My Gram is doing so much better. World of difference from just two nights ago. And man, does that ever make me happy! John pulled some strings and got her diet changed tonight (like it matters what you eat at 95!). We got a burger sent up, and she was the happiest I've seen her in a while!

How lucky am I? I couldn't have picked a more amazing woman to look up to. Every moment that I have with her, I am so very grateful for.

Here's the week, as seen from my phone:

Anyway . . . laundry is still calling and I'm ready to move the kiddos towards bed. So I can go to bed too! (Which means that I have to finish the laundry that is piled all of my bed. Ugh.) Happy weekend!

Saturday Phone Dump . . .

Yep, missed my Friday deadline. But instead? I was soaking up the goodness that was having BOTH of my children home. Lots of time cuddled up on the couch, on the back patio, sprawled on the floor . . . lots of stories and laughs and fun. It was good. Very, very good!

But here are some pictures to showcase the oddities often found on my iPhone. And how representative the oddities are of our actual life!

Take that, Saturday morning!

Oops . . . forgot one:

Friday, Saturday and Sunday . . .

We had a great few days. Tiring, but great.

I had a great breakfast with a lovely young lady on Friday morning. Mindy is a delight. She loves Jesus. She loves my kids. She is beautiful, smart, talented, funny, motivated and did I mention? She likes to hang with me too! We had a great breakfast at Morning Thunder (yum!) and talked about lots of good stuff. Senior year of high school kinda stuff. Big worldly stuff. Friend stuff. We shared life. And I love that. I am so blessed to add another young lady to "our girls".

After breakfast, I headed out to run a couple of errands. (There was NO line at the Post Office! I stood there in stunned silence for a moment because I didn't know what to do!) Then I met up with colleagues for lunch at Sierra Nevada. After that, I headed home. Our Shannon came over and hung out with us. Both of the kids had friends over. I cleaned out Dylan's clothes/shoes/half-of-his-closet. John headed out for the Air Force base. Auntie Karissa even came over for a short while . . . although she refused a drink. So rude! We made nachos for dinner. I enjoyed some Prosecco, even though I was forced to drink it by myself. Again . . . rude!

Friday night I got smart and let Halle sleep in our bed, in order to sleep later on Saturday morning. (Worked like  charm!) I, on the other hand, didn't sleep well at because Dylan's buddies came and TP'd our house. At 11:30. Which means I was just dozing off into a blissful slumber when the dog went ballistic and I was forced to chase off a group of teenagers wielding more rolls of toilet paper. Then I had to scare them off again when they tried to sneak back to finish off the job. Then I couldn't get back to sleep! (Dylan slept through the entire thing. Of course!)

Our Saturday morning consisted of donuts with our Shannon (yeah!), cleaning up toilet paper, another playdate for Halle and mowing the lawn (me). As a side note, I'm realizing that all of Dylan's chore require two arms. Ugh. I cleaned some stuff out of the garage and listed it on a local yard sale site. Made me feel like I'd actually accomplished something! It was a beautiful day and we enjoyed the sunshine all afternoon. I made nachos for dinner. (Second night in a row, if you're counting!) Dylan and I finished watching Tower Heist, which I started with John, but fell asleep before finishing it. (Sorry, babe!)

On Sunday, we didn't even pretend like we were going to church. Good thing I have a long drive tomorrow. That podcast will come in handy. We did lots of stuff around the house. My Mom came over for a quick visit. The Lauren and Prince Bobby came over for a visit. To Halle's delight, they brought the dogs. She was in doggie heaven! We sat out in the backyard, enjoyed the sunshine and just relaxed. It was kind of heavenly. Halle re-discovered lots of fun outside toys. Dylan had a major attack of the itchy cast, so we ended up pouring baby powder down his arm and blow-drying it through the cast. (Hint: do this outside if you ever try it. We didn't. Learn from us!)

John made it home safely from his drill weekend. The kids got see him for a bit before bed and then I got to see him! We actually made it through the season premiere of Army Wives. With a lot of eye-rolling. Clearly they have run out of even somewhat plausible drama!

And so went our weekend. It felt like spring, family and easy-times . . . all rolled into one. Now, that's a weekend!