Blissfully Unaware of the Chaos the Surrounds Me

Happy Day . . .

I'm sitting in the backyard, with my feet up on the ottoman. There's a light breeze blowing. The sun is out. John is napping. Halle is napping (although she wasn't tired . . . not one it!) Dylan is playing on the xBox.

My car is freshly washed . . . a late Mother's Day gift from my amazing firstborn. I'm drinking a Fresca, out of a mason jar, with frozen fruit for ice. My flowers are blooming. My groundcover is growing. There is evidence of last night's fun with the chalked hopscotch fading on the patio. The side yard is cleaned up, as done by my husband who possibly was still drunk when he got up this morning. He rocked it. (Both the drunkenness and the recovery!) More on the drunkenness later . . . I'm collecting iPhone pics and video clips as they come in. 

Tonight we are driving down to Live Oak to my very favorite eatery, Pasquini's.  (Yes, really. If you've passed them a hundred times on 99 and ever wondered if it was decent? I'm here to tell you that they are beyond decent!) We are meeting up with John's Dad to celebrate his birthday. (Happy birthday, Poppi!)

For the first weekend in months, John doesn't have any homework or school projects or tests. That feels beyond amazing to me! I know it feels even better to him!

I am just soaking in it. Reveling in it, really. Love me some happy, easy Saturday.

Stick a Fork in Me . . .

I'm done. Done, people. Done with a capitol D!

Dylan went back to school this morning. (Amen.) After sleeping through his alarm. 

Halle also went to school this morning. 

I went to work this morning. After sending Halle off to school with John. After dropping off my car at the dealership for service. (And after successfully negotiating a deal to quasi-make-up-for the bad info we received about our Acadia's tow capacity when we bought it. I.E., we were told twice, both times quite clearly, that it had a tow capacity of 4,500 pounds. Sadly, Stella, as I have named her, can only tow 2,000 pounds. Which is much less than our tent trailer.) 

This was John's first Monday with no clinical hours. Amen. Thankfully. And oh, dear, God; we barely made it through this last semester! This was really the highlight of my day. My week! We even ate lunch together!

I worked today. John ran errands. The children do whatever it is that they do at school. ;-)

At 2:40, John dropped me off at Dylan's school to interview one of our principal candidates. At 2:49 I missed a call from Halle's school. At 2:50, I excused myself and listened to the message which stated, "Hi Amy. This isn't an emergency, but please call me ASAP." I tried to call the school and couldn't get through. I then got a second message that said, "Halle seems to be having a reaction of some kind, she has facial swelling, but she's fine. She's not having any difficulty breathing. Please call us, ASAP." Again, I couldn't through to the school. I called John and told him to just go get her. That she was having a reaction of some kid and having facial swelling.

His first statement? "They need to call 911." I told him to try and call and tell them that because I couldn't reach them.

I was sure he was over-reacting. In an experienced ER nurse kinda way. I went back into the interview. And apologized for how distracted I was. I called the school again and they told me that John was there and all was fine. I finished the interview. I completed the evaluation form. I went and collected Dylan from the office. And then we went out to find John. Who was coming to pick us up. When I couldn't find him? I called. I assumed he would say he was in the parking lot or on the other street.

Nope. He was at an emergent care clinic with Halle. And they were injecting her with epinephrine.

So help me, my heart stopped.

I stumbled around for a minute, then found us a ride to the clinic. (Thank you, Margaret!)

When we got there, made our way to the back and opened the door? I gasped. I caught my breath. I choked on a sob. The swollen little face that was looking at me? Was almost unrecognizable. And John's first words were, "you should have seen her before the epi-pen".

Sigh. I just trudged through a 13 day battle with a horrific virus/strep for Dylan. I was gearing up, not for anything amazing, but just to catch up. Catch. Up.

Tomorrow, I am supposed to get my hair done. As petty as it seems? It's kind of important. To my self esteem. To the idea that folks will look at my beautiful hair color versus my need for a tummy-tuck. And lipo. And, well . . . a breast-lift, if anyone is counting. 

So tomorrow? I will get my hairs did. With Halle by my side. Probably watching the Fresh Beat Band on my iPad. After a night of waking every hour or more often to check for facial edema (or swelling, for us laymen) and respiratory distress.

Really, who needs a decent night's sleep, anyway?

This is my girl AFTER the epinephrine. I'm pretty sure it was a good thing (or a God thing) that I didn't see her before. 

And He's Off . . .

my baby-boy is headed off to D.C./NYC for an exciting adventure. It's going to be an amazing time for him to see so much of our nation's history. It's a fantastic opportunity for him and I am so very glad that he was able to go.

But there's a part of this Mama that doesn't like my kiddo to be that far out of my reach! Sigh . . . 

The good news? It's a very small, disproportionate amount. He will do great. He is very trustworthy and wise for his age. He is a good kid. He's traveled a lot, ever since he was a tiny peanut. He can handle the security line like a pro. Assumably even one-handed! Even if he ignore the labels that I put on his clothing. (Yes, really.) He'll do great. (I'll just keep saying that . . . ) I am very, very excited for him!

I am hoping for some photos and texts along the way. I have to say that as much as I hate all the technology that is so pervasive in our teenagers' lives? I do like it when it serves my needs! He even has Facetime capacity, assuming that he hits a wireless hot-spot along the way. 

Now, I am off to face the fact that it's 3:11 am. I am still fighting the tension headache that I've been fighting for the last few days. So here's to hoping that sleep will come. Please . . . must sleep!

Travel safe, my boy! Enjoy your grand adventure!

The 30th and 31st . . .

of December. These days are probably some of the most influential and the most conflicted days on my life calendar. At least in the later portion of my life!

14 years ago, just after 10:00 pm on December 31, 1998, my water broke. Excitement, joy, anticipation, a full moon, anxiety and trepidation all traded places throughout that evening.

The following year, on December 31st, I along with the rest of the Western world worried about Y2K, with no lasting effect or issue. I remember sitting in my little house in Ukiah, rocking a cute little Dylan, wondering how everything would change with that one tick-tock of the clock. Again . . . lots of hype, not a lot of change! 

In 2001, I spent the New Year in Lake Almanor. One of my best and memorable holidays with then-friends and then-family. (Note to self . . . rent Almanor cabin next year for New Years!)

2002-2004 were more mellow. Me and my little guy. Usually prepping for his birthday. Nothing earth-shattering on those years. Just mellow love of a Mama and a very sweet little boy.

On December 30, 2005; I met John. Enough said. That one changed my life. Big time. Good time.

In 2006, John and I had been married for a few months. (Yes, we really did move that fast!) Faster yet, I had just found out that I was pregnant with Sissy. Just barely-moments-pregnant. Against the doctor's advice, we headed up to Tahoe and spent the New Year with our good friends the Gomersalls in the snow. That was fun. Really fun.

In 2007, we were home with a 3-month-old, sleep-deprived and cranky. Getting ready for John to head to Texas for a six-week Air Force training assignment. I shed a few tears those evenings.

In 2008, we were aboard a lovely cruiseliner, headed to the Mexican Riviera with all of John's family. (Note to self, that was the best way to celebrate New Years ever!)

In 2009, there was nothing outstanding to report. Low-key celebrating and preparing for Dylan's birthday. (Hey, I had a toddler! Standards were low!) 

In 2010, I got really, really drunk on the 30th, thereby limiting any fun or enjoyment on the 31st.

And then this year, 2011, we again hit the town on the 30th. I had a bit too much to drink, but NOTHING like my preceding year's overindulgence. Thankfully. (Forever and ever, amen!) We joined our friends and headed to the El Rey for a comedy show with a former local as the headliner. As he was also a PV alumni, there were lots of jokes especially for the Chicoans. It was pretty funny, really. We headed to Crush and enjoyed some cocktails with friends and actually stayed out until after midnight. Holy smokes! That's late for me!

Tonight, we will stay home with our little family. Some neighbors and friends will come over. We will eat some yummy appetizers and sip some bubbly. Play some games and have some laughs. It's really the best kind of New Year's Eve. At midnight we will ring in the New Year and sing Happy Birthday to our 13-year-old. THIRTEEN! How does that happen? Ah, well, that's a post for tomorrow . . . 

"A happy New Year! Grant that I may bring no tear to any eye when this New Year in time shall end. Let it be said I've played the friend, have lived and loved and labored here. And made of it a happy year. " Edgar A. Guest 

My Man-Child . . .

Oh, this boy of mine . . . 

He is really, truly amazing.

Yesterday, I picked him up at lunchtime. He's been off his antihistamines in preparation for further allergy testing and he's been pretty miserable. In addition? He got ringworm, too. Ugh. And he couldn't take anything to help with the itching, since it would interfere with his testing as well.

Poor kid.

I took him to lunch. It was one of those day that I had a million and one thigns to do at work, but I am so glad that I had that hour with him. He is astonishing and delightful and wise and intuitive and so enjoyable.

I am so, very, very blessed by him.

Today was a big day for him . . . his first debit card arrived in the mail. The only problem? It's so fancy, I don't know how to teach him to use it! Seriously! Guess we'll be the dorky ones at check-out. (Don't get in line behind us, FYI!)

And then a few minutes ago, our neighbor came down to see him. This neighbor of ours is a kind, respectable, well-reputed businessman. He wrote Dylan a check for his house-sitting duties over the summer and gave him a 30% BONUS! How cool is that for a kid? And this amazing letter of recommendation:

My boy is such a great kid. Strong. Courageous. Wise. Smart. Charismatic. Faithful. Kind.

Love him. Big time!

Grades 2-7 . . .

Uploading his back-to-school photo yesterday got me all bijiggety. This man-child is my baby. MY BABY!

Look at this man-boy. I remember taking that photo in 2nd grade like it was yesterday. (Although I cannot, for the life of me, remember why I didn't take the traditional in-the-front-yard photo. I may have to photoshop it. Because it's driving me batty!)

Once I do a little scanning, I should also have three years of Preschool-1st. Crazy. Just absolutely crazy. 

Now I'm even more determined to force Halle's picture. So help me, God-of-all-ridiculously-stubborn-children.  (She's insisted on wearing the same shirt to school for three days in a row.) This is after the new dress she picked out just happened to have a bow on it. God-forbid. That little bow-situation almost imploded our entire first-day-of-school departure. And yes, I've actively considered that she's more than just stubborn. 

Back to School . . .

Isn't he handsome? I sure think he is! And isn't that a nice shirt from American Eagle? I was so excited that he finally busted out of Gap/Old Navy that I paid full price for it! Crazy, I know . . . 

As for Halle, she blatantly refused to be photographed. That girl. I swear . . .

Husbandly Duties . . .

Thank you, honey for giving me my shots and always taking care of me. You do such a great job of jabbing me with that needle. I wouldn't want anyone else to jab me in the butt every couple of weeks. Gee, that sounds bad, doesn't it?

For hanging my crap on the walls (the right way, versus how I would do it . . . trial and error and 4,000 holes later).

For listening to me bitch about everything. Most recently, bitching about my itching. Damn Poison Oak.

For not being super-mad that I had the backyard partially landscaped while you were gone. Especially for that one! I thought I was a goner!

And even though it drives me crazy, more often than not; and although I'd rather have you here with us rather than there; thank you for your faithful service to our country. Your commitment to the Air Force is something that is so very honorable. And I'm sorry that I complain about it more than I share my pride with you. (You know, like when I cry at the Shamu show when they ask all of (you) service members to stand and be recognized? That's my pride in you, babe.)

Thank you also for working so hard to achieve your Masters and FNP. I know how important it is to you. I appreciate how much you have sacrificed this last year to get this far. So yes, you are right, telling them to screw off about having to be down there on the 30th probably isn't the best option. We'll figure it out :)

No matter what the shit we've gone through in the last 5.5 years? I have no doubt that I hit the jackpot with you. I am so very, very blessed by you.

I love you. I miss you. Drive safe. Then we'll leave again in the morning . . . on the road again . . . I just can't wait to get on the road again!

So Proud of my Boy . . .

who passed his Hunter's Safety Class/Test today on the first try. Given that they boy is a straight-A student and all, I shouldn't have been surprised, but the circumstances pretty much sucked and by all accounts, he shouldn't have been so successful. Sadly.

Long story short? Dylan and John have been struggling just a bit over the last few months. Some combination of Dylan's age/John being really busy and stressed/different personalities/just life, I guess. Anyway . . . Dylan asked if he could take Hunter's Safety with my Mom's SO, Les. And I said yes, without talking to my husband (who wasn't able to do the class because of his schedule and probably would have never said "yes" to Dylan doing it with someone else). Bad course of action set upon by me. 

Thus began the last two months of struggle. Over this stupid freakin' Hunter's Safety course. It wasn't the best situation.

And Dylan felt caught in the middle. Between John and I. Between my Mom's SO and John. Between wanting to do this and wanting it all to go away.

So he did exactly what I would have done . . . he retreated. He didn't study as much as he should have. He didn't complete the workbook he was required to do . . . heck, he didn't even tell us about the workbook! He didn't go to the cabin with my Mom and Les last weekend. He avoided. With a capital A. And then he stressed. And stressed. And stressed some more.

We found out, LAST NIGHT at 6:30 pm about the workbook needing to be complete. All 71 pages of it. I was ready to pull the plug, right then and there. It wasn't worth it to me. But Dylan and Les persevered. Dylan was terrified that he would disappoint someone. So they stayed up until 12:30 finishing the workbook. Then it took Dylan another two horus to get to sleep. 

The class/test started at 8:00 am.

Although Dylan is one seriously smart kid? I didn't think he had a to chance to overcome the circumstance.

But he did. He did fabulously! Way to go, Dylan!

(Even if he did completely trick me and originally tell me that he had failed. Which I believed and felt so freakin' bad for him. Booger!)

 

Happy Mother's Day . . .

to my Mama, my sister, my Gram, my Grandma, my MIL and all of my Aunties! Happy Mother's Day to all of my amazing friends who are such amazing Moms!

Being a Mom has shaped me more than anything else in my lifetime. I am so very, very blessed to have had the experiences and time spent with my kiddos. It hasn't always been easy to balance life and all that it brings, but I think both of my kids know that I would pretty much drop anything to come to their aid.  

Dylan is my first love. He would be so embarassed to hear that direct quote, but it's true. Before I had him, I thought I knew what love really was. But, until I held that little guy, I really had no clue. He was the instant turning point to my life. I was 25 and I could no longer be selfish. I could no longer put myself first. (Isn't that the true call of parenthood? Doing what is best for someone other than yourself?) 

So it is especially neat that I first found out that I was expecting Dylan 13 years ago, today. For the sake of history, I do have to recall that it was the one Mother's Day that I forgot to wish my Mom a happy Mother's Day. I was distracted, but still . . . sorry, Mom!

Along my journey as a Mom, there are so many influences that I am grateful to. Some from my childhood (my Mom, Cindy C., Janet, Liane, my Aunt Linda, my Aunt Karen and so many more); others that met me in my early journey as a Mom, my Ukiah girls (Carmen, Kristi, Charla, Regina and my other Young Moms bible study friends); more still that joined me along the way of coming home to Chico with just my little guy (Linda B. and Kathy especially); those that came with John . . . the ultimate package deal (Crissy, Robyn, Traci and Lynn); so many from our amazing church family (Christi, Susan and so many more); my go-to Mom when I need advice on the stages that we hit as parents (the amazing Lynn Mount); and my girlfriends . . . the ones who tell me the truth, even if it's ugly (Robyn, Ree, Shannon, Janell, Stacy, Marci, just to mention a few).

And I couldn't have imagined how soothing and supportive that the Internet can be . . . wow, I love, love, love and appreciate the 24-7 ability to find resources, support, an inspiring word, a place to vent . . . God bless the web of Moms, nurses, experts and yes, even the assholes that spend time on the Web, giving advice and knowledge and experience. It's the ultimate Mom's group!

And to those girls/women who come in and love my kiddos when i can't be here? My Lauren, Gillian and Shannon especially? You will never know the joy and support and love that you have brought to my life! I love you girls for loving my kids!

Happy Mother's Day! Thank you, John for planning ahead and giving me such sweet gifts today, even though you couldn't be here. And thank you, Dylan for getting up with your sister so I could sleep in. You boys rock!